Perspective is a gracious gift.

Yesterday Annie was 1 week old and we ventured out to see the Morgans. The kids and I were having some symptoms of cabin fever, so even with the chaos of getting everyone bundled up and in the van, it was great to GO. We even went by the post office and mailed out a pkg (you should have seen the looks of pity I got -- SO FUNNY --just with 4!) and to Target to buy diapers. Everyone did well. Annie is the easiest baby I've had yet. She's super content and happy to be sleeping or eating or just looking around. Thank you, Lord for your mercies in big and small things!!!!!

We're really missing time with Matt this week. He's in a 10 day stretch with no time off and very late hours. Even yesterday when he didn't have call he didn't get home until 8pm. Tonight he's "long call" so it will be closer to 11 or 11:30pm. The kids saw him for 5 minutes this morning - enough for hugs and kisses to everyone, but that will be it for the day. I have to admit I'm having some blue moments, missing him and wishing he wasn't having to work SO much right now. And some anxiety as I look ahead to the next rotation that starts on Monday. Its 2 weeks of a similar schedule to this one and then 2 weeks of NIGHT FLOAT. Groan, Whine, Wail!!!! I look back on the 2 weeks of night float as the worst 2 weeks of intern year. He works every night but one for 2 weeks. Roughly 6pm to 8am. He's home during the day, but of course must sleep! And the "day off" is really a "night off" so he needs to keep his body on that schedule in order to make it to work the following night. Yuck.

But as I said in the title, PERSPECTIVE is a gracious gift. I just got an update from friends in a very dangerous/volatile and "closed" country. The husband's platform for being there involves making water wells for areas that are currently without. This involves traveling to remote areas along very dangerous roads. The "bad guys" like to hide out around these roads and see what they can "gain" from travelers. The wife will stay behind alone with 3 children (one just a few months old) in their house in town to wait for his return. His next trip will take 2 days and the following one 6days. As I understand it, there's no means of communication for them while he's gone. There's no way for her to KNOW if he's okay, if he's delayed, if he's on his way back...

That kind of faith and that kind of trust in the Lord who is our shield and defender is awe inspiring to me, challenging and convicting to me! They rest in Jesus. They know His protection and His mercy. They embrace this life for the sake of the gospel among those who have never heard. They are willing to love not their lives even unto death for the sake of His Glory among the nations. They have refused to buy the safety myth that says if you remain here in America doing normal things you'll be "safe." They know there's no such thing as risk when you are walking in God's path. (Not that you won't be harmed or even killed, but you could be here too!) Theoretically we probably all know that it's only by his protecting, perserving power that we breathe our next breath. period. So many things COULD happen and dwelling on "what if" will make your mind creep toward the insanity (and sin) of constant worry.

I know my husband is really no "safer" than my friend's, though from a purely worldly outlook it appears he is. The God who keeps our steps and numbers our days, watches over my husband as he drives home from work after an 18hour shift and keeps him awake at the wheel, and he watches over her husband as he travels in remote areas where "bad guys" lurk with evil intent. Still I redouble my prayers for my friend and her heart's peace and trust in Christ, for her husband's safe keeping, for her children as they miss their daddy! I redouble my thanksgiving for the grace of each new day that allows my family to love each other on this earth even if we don't get to see as much of one another as we'd like right now!

So yes, Perspective. I miss Matt. The kids miss Daddy. But I'm sure its not to the degree S. will miss J. during his jaunt into the wilderness. For in spite of what we know to be true about "risk," there's still a gut level sense of what feels scarey and what does not. And yes, what J does feels far more frightening than what Matt does. I hope you'll join me in praying God's protection and grace over our friends today and if applicable, over your own husband today too... (Eph 6:10-20)